Friday, October 23, 2009

The "Phillie" Food Feed

I feel that I need to reprint this homage Ben Wenk from Three Springs Fruit Farm paid to his produce and the fightin' Phils! I wish I could take credit for this one -

Market Produce
  • Honeycrisp - Ryan Howard, 1B - Your 2009 NLCS MVP is as vital to the Phils as the Honeycrisp are to our apple stand.  They are our MVP and, like Ryan, are large in stature and come up clutch when you need an apple (or a timely three run HR in his case).
  • Gala - Shane Victorino, CF - Danke, Shane!  What else do you want the guy to do?  Hit for average?  Hit for power?  A little speed on the basepaths?  Chase down balls in the gap?  Just a great all around, reliable player much like Gala are a great go-to eating apple
  • Jonagold - Jayson Werth, RF - Huge season for Jayson, huge season for Jonagold.  This was Werth's best year statiscally and this is the best crop of Jonagold we've had.  They are large (see Werth, Jayson) and are a huge part of our apple cornucopia.
  • Fuji - Cliff Lee, SP - Fuji came to us from Japan.  Cliff came to us from the Cleveland Indians.  On arrival, we marvelled at the sweetness of both!  What's more, whether you need eight shutout innings or crispness at room temperature for months after harvest, both Fuji and Cliff Lee can go the distance!
  • Staymen/Winesap - Carlos Ruiz, C - CHOOCH!  There's something about a firm, tart apple that says "catcher" to me.  Plus, Ruiz has set records for run production from the eighth spot in the order.  Staymen also ripen late... eh?  Works for me!
  • Cortland - Joe Blanton, P - Coming in at 250lbs in your media guide, Blanton is a pretty big guy serving a pretty big role in your playoff rotation.  Between Pedro, A.J., and Blanton, skipper Charlie Manual can hand pick which starter is best suited for which matchup.  These Cortland are also huge and versitile.  Make them your starting salad apple or bring 'em out of the pen for a tasty homemade apple sauce!
  • Nittany - Pedro Feliz, 3B - It's easy to overlook Nittany, what with such delicious eating apples as Honeycrisp, Gala, Jonagold, and Fuji already lining the shelves.  However, Gold Glove caliber defense and a few timely hits are not to be overlooked.  Coming from Golden lineage (Golden Delicious, parent variety), Nittany, like Pedro Feliz, is not to be overlooked.  Very vital part of any successful fruit stand/Championship baseball team.
  • Mutsu - Jimmy Rollins, SS - "J Roll" comes up huge when you need him and is noted for his speed on the bases... and also a great baserunning in general, for that matter.  Mutsu comes off the tree huge every time!  They just don't produce small fruit!  And, due to their popularity, they're "going fast"!  Same thing, right?!
  • Golden Delicious - Pedro Martinez, SP - There's this apple I know that is a delicious eating apple.  It's been around a long time - been successful for many years yet, oddly, some people still take it for granted.  They underestimate it because other versions of this apple are old and mushy.  Guess the Dodgers won't make the same mistake with Pedro Martinez again, hmm?
  • Red Delicious - The Phanatic, mascot - Red Delicious are the same color as the Phillies uniforms.
  • Empire - Charlie Manual, "skipper" - Why is it geniuses from Bristol, CT think that anyone who talks with a southern accent is stupid, crotchedy or both.  Charlie has led the Phillies to back to back National League pennants which hasn't happened since '95-'96!  Wonder what these same folks would have to say if Charlie defeated their darlings in "The Evil Empire"?  (Empire apples, while discovered and researched in New York, do not possess the same evil qualities as the presumed AL champion New York Yankees)
  • Rome Beauty - Paul Bako, C - Only so good for a "snacko", but terrific apples with which to Bako.  (read:  Bake-o... I know it's pronounced differently, Paul is a former Oriole afterall!)
  • Cameo - Ben Francisco, OF - Usually coming off the bench to start a rally from the pitcher's spot in the lineup, Francisco's cameo appearances can help the Phils start one of their legendary late inning rallies.  When we need to rally in late apple season, the Cameo make an appearance to match Staymen as a dessert quality tart eating apple.
  • Bartlett Pears - Eric Bruntlett, IF - He swears up and down that these fruit are named after him, but I'm not buying it.  Remember that time he recorded an unassisted triple play?  That was pretty cool.
  • Bosc Pears - Matt Stairs, OF/PH - In case of emergency, use Pears. 

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